Secrets of a last-minute student

I know you're out there. Too many of you. Don't worry, I must be #1 perpetrator on the hit list. We are the ones who either cram in all our study the night before and are going through wk 13 lecture notes one minute before walking into an exam, hand in assignments literally one minute before submission or on a bad day where you are lacking motivation we get slapped on the wrist with a late penalty. I'll let you in on a little insight into how to do last-minute study.

“Punctual”. What does this word even mean. And while I'm at it..what's a better, more socially acceptable term for “cheating?” “Unethical?” Eh..so here goes...

If you need to buy some more time in submitting an assignment, why not be sneaky and “accidentally” send in a corrupt file on time, keep working on your assignment and send in the real one once your teacher has notified you that there was a “problem” with the formatting/uploading of your file and requests you to try sending again. Corrupted-Files.com offers a service that sells students (for a fee of around $5) intentionally corrupted files with the following instructions. "Step 1: After purchasing a file with the appropriate number of pages, rename the file e.g. Mike_Final-Paper. Step 2: E-mail the file to your professor along with your 'here's my assignment' e-mail. Step 3: It will take your professor several hours if not days to notice your file is 'unfortunately' corrupted. Use the time this website just bought you wisely and finish that paper!!!." I don't like to think of myself as a person promoting cheating. You are still doing the work yourself. Think about it this way if it makes you feel any better: would your professor rather you make up an excuse and hand in your own work a bit late or submit someone else's work on time?

*Warning: you may not fool a switched-on teacher but it's better than “the dog ate my homework” excuse.

*Disclaimer: I have not been smart enough to try this... or dumb enough to :P

Now I want to make sure we don't have any misunderstandings about the claim that winding your computer clock back can avoid a turnitin late penalty. Let me tell you loud and clear that this myth is busted. You can't fool the system in any way, as has been mentioned in an earlier blog. Turnitin's timestamp is based on your the university's settings when they set it up (usually by default it is the local timezone).

Now the most logical thing for me to say now is to not be late in the first place – to tell you not to leave things to the last minute.. but what a hypocrite I would be. It's not always because we're lazy, I swear!

So in terms of how to cram and chuck an all-nighter, buy yourself epic amounts of study food, sit down wrapped in a blanket, and chuck your phone away. Seriously!

You can even get your significant other to help you out with motivation by treating you at milestones (I.e. every 500 words) if you know what I mean.. ;) I'll leave it there.

Good luck in exams and any assignments to still be submitted!

Over and out,

The Uni Students.